Sunday, November 15, 2009

A change.

I've been thinking to myself that I need a new start, I began thinking this way before my surgery and razzing Scott a bit that while I was in surgery he could feel free to go get my "new start ring" aka anniversary band. We've been married 7 years & together 10 and boy oh boy have we been through a lot. I was looking at this surgery & the past 10 years as an end to one chapter and the start of another. Many of the past 10 weren't how I would have planned things but he "new" me is thinking that it is what it is & I need to move on & make the best out of the next 10. I really am a visual person & thought that 10 yrs is significant & that wearing a ring would be neat. I also thought that when I felt down, sad, less than worthy of happiness I could look down at it and remember that I have all I truly need in life; someone who has stood by my side, who has for some reason chosen to love me like I can't love myself, a wonderful son; who blesses me each day with his grins & giggles; true friends & my faith. So with all that how could I fail right?

So are you wondering if Scott got my ring. Well the answer is uh No, Maybe we'll get on our feet a bit more then I'll have my ring. I just told him we could keep saving longer & maybe I can get BIGGER Diamonds. :O) Plus, we have time for that.... the true thought is that I still have all of those things in my life & if I really wanted to I could put a rubberband around my wrist & it wouldn't change any of the blessings I have, no more than a ring would.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately, I really do feel like I need a change. The biggest being my wieght. I know that most of us feel like it would be wonderful to loose a few pounds but I am now 70 over weight... isn't that great. I'd like to loose 50. I'm trying to figure out how I got this way this is what I can think of...

1. I love/care for everyone else but myself.

2. I love to cook & eat

3. I am an emotional person & eater- if Im bored I eat, sad I eat, happy I eat... you get the point.

4. I lack ambition & know how

5. I think I was sad & depressed & didn't know how to get out of it.

6. I get discouraged easily.

7. I have hobbies that aren't active enough, reading, knitting, FB, Blogging... you name it.

8. I don't make time, & I don't use my time wisely (like now I'm writing about it instead of doing it)

9. I hold myself back

10. I don't know enough about nutrition. Fat/calories/ carbs... how to count them... blah, blah, blah


Now here are some reasons that I need to become healthy

1. The Lord has blessed me with Ty & I need to be an example. He learns from me.

2. I need to realize that I am worth it.

3. I need to learn to make myself as much as of a priority or I won't be here for my family

4. I don't want to be sick, have back aches, diabetes, etc... & that will happen if I don't take care
of myself.

5. I would love to run, I don't know how, I look funny doing it... but I think it would be absolutely amazing if I could run a 5k someday.... but for now I'd be happy with a mile... shoot... for now I'd be happy with a 1/2 mile. :O)

6. I need to live in the present... there is nothing I can do about the past. Its gone & the future isn't here, I need to be present in today, not what should have been or what can be, what is... because today is all we are guaranteed... ( wow... that sounds good. huh? )

7. I don't want to let Scott down by dying much too young simply because I wouldn't love myself enough to make sure I was here to grow old with him.

Well, that's it for now. I need to rethink the way I think, then maybe it will all fall into place, I'm hoping to take baby steps. I have nothing to loose...well... actually I do... 50 of 'em. :O)

6 comments:

christi_leann said...

I need to make a change too, girl! We could be e-health buddies! Your blog has inspired me and I'm ready to follow your example! Keep us updated on how you're doing!

Nanette said...

Ooh, ooh, Adja! I can help! (True, it would be easier if you lived closer, but it can still work.) When Sophie was about 7 months old, I finally just bought new clothes because I assumed that my body was just going to stay that size. Well, turns out (surprise, surprise) that when I actually got off my butt and did something, the weight started coming off. I had only ever run (more like slowly jogged) a mile once, and it nearly killed me, but I worked up to it slowly, and started tracking my food/exercise (I have a computer program that is awesome for that- it's called Dietpower), and it became addicting. I couldn't wait for Todd to come home so I could go out and run. And by the end, I was preparing for a 1/2 marathon, and I'd done some 10 mile runs. I know, I know, sounds crazy, but I actually got to the point where I ENJOYED running. So now I'm getting ready to kick start (finally) my post baby weightloss. (I lost 30 lbs after Sophie from doing all my stuff.) Anyway, I'm going to be starting it back up, so if you need help, or want more info on the computer program thing, let me know.
The key really is to start out slow. It's better for you to feel like you could be doing more, then to feel overwhelmed and then not want to continue. Anyway, let me know. I'm so excited for you!!

Nanette said...

I just checked and the computer program is 40% right now, too!

Adja said...

Hi Christi~
I inpired you, I didn't think that I could inspire anyone. I just know that I need to do it for me, But I'm glad that you're on board. I'm really trying to eat healthier & get off my butt. So far so good. This week has been a good one. I haven't lost any weight but it has only been a few days. I certainly didn't put it on fast, so I'm not disappointed yet. It will take time, I'm logging everything through that dietpower. Since I have no clue how many calories I ate. etc. It does it all for you. Plus, my friend Nanette is helping & bought it as my christmas gift! I like the computer anyhow, so I can just click what I ate & how much I excersised & it tallies it all. It was onsale & I even googled a promo code for another $5 off! I'll keep you posted!

christi_leann said...

Hey Adja,
It's been about a month, any progress report for us? Hopefully you've been doing better than I have at it!

Adja said...

Hey Christi, Sorry I didn't realize that you'd written. I've lost 10lbs...I probably could have lost more but I'm thrilled with that concidering the holidays. I'm going to try to get more serious about it now that the feasting is over. :O)