A change.

I've been thinking to myself that I need a new start, I began thinking this way before my surgery and razzing Scott a bit that while I was in surgery he could feel free to go get my "new start ring" aka anniversary band. We've been married 7 years & together 10 and boy oh boy have we been through a lot. I was looking at this surgery & the past 10 years as an end to one chapter and the start of another. Many of the past 10 weren't how I would have planned things but he "new" me is thinking that it is what it is & I need to move on & make the best out of the next 10. I really am a visual person & thought that 10 yrs is significant & that wearing a ring would be neat. I also thought that when I felt down, sad, less than worthy of happiness I could look down at it and remember that I have all I truly need in life; someone who has stood by my side, who has for some reason chosen to love me like I can't love myself, a wonderful son; who blesses me each day with his grins & giggles; true friends & my faith. So with all that how could I fail right?

So are you wondering if Scott got my ring. Well the answer is uh No, Maybe we'll get on our feet a bit more then I'll have my ring. I just told him we could keep saving longer & maybe I can get BIGGER Diamonds. :O) Plus, we have time for that.... the true thought is that I still have all of those things in my life & if I really wanted to I could put a rubberband around my wrist & it wouldn't change any of the blessings I have, no more than a ring would.

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately, I really do feel like I need a change. The biggest being my wieght. I know that most of us feel like it would be wonderful to loose a few pounds but I am now 70 over weight... isn't that great. I'd like to loose 50. I'm trying to figure out how I got this way this is what I can think of...

1. I love/care for everyone else but myself.

2. I love to cook & eat

3. I am an emotional person & eater- if Im bored I eat, sad I eat, happy I eat... you get the point.

4. I lack ambition & know how

5. I think I was sad & depressed & didn't know how to get out of it.

6. I get discouraged easily.

7. I have hobbies that aren't active enough, reading, knitting, FB, Blogging... you name it.

8. I don't make time, & I don't use my time wisely (like now I'm writing about it instead of doing it)

9. I hold myself back

10. I don't know enough about nutrition. Fat/calories/ carbs... how to count them... blah, blah, blah


Now here are some reasons that I need to become healthy

1. The Lord has blessed me with Ty & I need to be an example. He learns from me.

2. I need to realize that I am worth it.

3. I need to learn to make myself as much as of a priority or I won't be here for my family

4. I don't want to be sick, have back aches, diabetes, etc... & that will happen if I don't take care
of myself.

5. I would love to run, I don't know how, I look funny doing it... but I think it would be absolutely amazing if I could run a 5k someday.... but for now I'd be happy with a mile... shoot... for now I'd be happy with a 1/2 mile. :O)

6. I need to live in the present... there is nothing I can do about the past. Its gone & the future isn't here, I need to be present in today, not what should have been or what can be, what is... because today is all we are guaranteed... ( wow... that sounds good. huh? )

7. I don't want to let Scott down by dying much too young simply because I wouldn't love myself enough to make sure I was here to grow old with him.

Well, that's it for now. I need to rethink the way I think, then maybe it will all fall into place, I'm hoping to take baby steps. I have nothing to loose...well... actually I do... 50 of 'em. :O)

Apple picking

I think that one great blessing of living in New York is that we get to go apple picking each year. It is awesome! Ty and I went with my Uncle Keith aka Poppy & Aunt Judy. This is the third year that we've gone with them to a really neat orchard about a half hour from where we live. We picked 3 1/2 bushels of Ida Red apples and the really great part is that it only cost $24.00. We got an Awesome bargin & a great time rolled into one. Here are a few pictures of my favorite apple picker... And a Bonus photos of Ty & Paisley & I after we returned home.

Now I'll be busy making applesause & canning. I'm so EXCITED. :O)

Ps... the date is all wrong. I really need a new camera!

He was such a good help, he carried the bag for me. What a little gentleman!

Ty & Paisley

A more recent picture of me... since all these are so outdated. I went back to bangs... first time in over 10 yrs... Ahhhhhhhh. So. the big question is ... do I look 19 again.

Maybe you'd better not answer that. :O)

HMMMMMMMMMMMM....

Well I'm not quite sure what to talk about, but I feel like I should update, so I guess I'll just ramble on & let the spirit move me. The first thing that comes to mind is my surgery. It went well. I suppose I'll fill you in on that. We stayed in Blossvale at Scott's mothers so that we could leave from there instead of home. I was up super early, and just anxious to get the whole thing over & done with. We arrived at the hospital & Scott dropped me off at the registration door so that I could let them know I was there & he could park the car. I made it to the desk and the lady asked my name & I had such a lump in my throat that I couldn't speak.... It was one of those if I talk I'm going to cry moments; so I just looked at her until I cried... great huh? By that time Scott was there. I checked in was escorted to my room. I went to the 3rd Floor. That's also Labor & Delivery. They proceeded to take me to my room, which happened to be the exact room that I requested I not be in. It was right next to the the nursery & where the glass was so that everyone could look at the new arrivals. Now, not to sound rude but I just didn't want to witness this after just waking up from a hysterectomy that I wasn't thrilled about having. I had a few thing that needed to be done, IV etc. That was a ball of "Fun" too. You'd think after having 8 previous surgeries that I would be a pro... well I told the nurse that my IV needed to go in the top of my left hand, and explained that they've had a very difficult/ impossible time getting them started anywhere else. She on the other hand thought I had "GREAT veins" and that she could get it on my forearm where it wouldn't "hurt". So, being the push over that I am, I agreed to let her try. Well that was a huge mistake, I was right. She hit a valve in my arm & couldn't go any farther, she wiggled it around etc. ect. to the point that I nearly tore Scott's hand off & he even said "OOOO" "Uhhhh" as he was watching her. After a few minutes of "Don't cry hunny, I'm almost done" She reluctantly went to my left hand where it easily went in the first time. I hate to say "I told you so".
There was Nurses manager that came in to introduce herself. She was great, and she promptly said. "Mrs. Williams, I've looked at your chart & you will be moved to another room when you return from surgery". That made me feel like someone noticed. I told her that it wasn't a big deal now, that I was already here but she said the change would be made.
Soon after Scott accompanied me down stairs where we said our goodbye & I was on my way.
The surgery went as planned, I woke up in a new room, to find my mother, sister & Scott all relieved that I was alright. They moved me as far as they could from the nursery, I was actually in Pediatrics & there was a boy next door who had just had surgery too, it was heart wrenching to hear him call for his mother. He sounded just like Ty. A few hours later the nurse came to me & said that pediatrics was admitting a lot of children and that they'd need my room, so they asked if I minded going back to the first room- at that point I really didn't mind. I figured if that little boy was tough enough to go through surgery I could suck it up & stay in that room . I stayed that night & was released the next day. My recovery has been pretty well. I thought that it was weird that I actually went into the hospital in more pain that I came out with or that I've had since. I was so grateful for the ladies from church that brought dinner or came for a visit. I saw the Dr. for my 2 week follow up & he said that thing were going well. So, for now I'm just taking it easy & enjoying my next couple of weeks off with Ty. It seems to be going by faster than I thought it would.

Halloween/ Fall Fun

Halloween... well that was interesting. It almost didn't happen in our home. To start things off, Ty at the last possible minute decided that he was going to be a cowboy. I thought that he was going to be a fireman again & just wear last years costume. I know that probably sounds like some sort of child abuse to many folks, however after just having surgery & really not being able to do a whole heck of alot yet; I thought that recycling last years costume was a terrific idea. But I suppose Ty, like all 3 year olds had other ideas. So I do what any good mother would do and say "Uhhhhh... Okay.... Mommy will make you be a cowboy" when inside I was thinking "Great...how am I going to pull this one off." My next thought is Oh wait this might not be too bad, he has jeans, cowboys wear jeans, he has a chamois shirt, that will work... cowboy boots... nope. well... no one would notice right? I then think a cowboy needs Chaps, I don't happen to have a ton of extra leather laying around so I go to the next best thing. My closet. I knew that I had a brown cordoroy shirt, that just might work. I get the shirt, get the sciorrs, & get to work. I also found a brownish hand-me-down T-shirt that Ty hadn't worn yet, so that got the scicorrs too (because every cowboy needs a vest). I lined the chaps with some denim fabric I had and went to work. The next call was to my cousins, they have 3 boys & I knew that'd be able to help. The offered a bandana, holster, a "six shooter" and a long gun. We added a cowboy hat that Scott had a ta-da... we had oursleves a genuine, authentic looking cowboy. I think all and all it turned out way better than I had orginally thought it would & I had a happy boy on my hands. I have a feeling that Ty will be getting lot of use out of this outfit.

Here is a fall photo too. My family came up for a visit & were nice enough to take Ty out to play in the leaves. I managed to get out there and capture a few moments.

This one of Ty is my favorite.